Valentine's Day: Big deal, or not? - What seventeen years of marriage has taught me

Valentine's Day has never been much of a huge deal for my husband and I. Surely we have exchanged the mandatory cards, chocolates, and little gifts. He's even gotten me flowers most years. We've gone on the occasional "big date" ... I think. It is hard to remember eighteen years of Februaries!

So, it isn't that we don't celebrate it, or even think poorly of it as some do. We just don't do it up big. I've wondered at this each year because it seems odd to me for a couple who loves each other as much as we do to not go all-out on the "Big Day of LOVE!"

Here is the conclusion I've come to: Love is for all the time.

After seventeen, going on eighteen years of marriage, I've learned that marriage is HARD. It takes constant work, constant sacrifice, constant evaluation of your own heart and an extreme amount of commitment. Both people giving ~ not 50/50 ~ but, 100/100, as our Pastor Wes says.

I'm sure anyone who is not married, or who may be in an unloving marriage right now, might say, "YUCK!" Who needs that?! Why would you do that to yourself?! The sea is full of fish and life is like an all-you-can-eat sushi bar!

Okay, ...have you seen the questionable pickings at an all-you-can-eat sushi bar?...

This may be a funny illustration, but the example it shows of quality is a perfect one.

Yes, marriage is hard. But, wow... it is WORTH IT.

Not just for the happy times, the laughter, the true friendship, but (and here's the kicker: especially...) in the tough times. The times when I achieve the great feat of swallowing my pride to allow him to have his way when I wanted my own. The times when I serve him unselfishly. The times when I pray for him when I'm angry. The times we both sit down and wrestle through a topic calmly instead of throwing things. Those times. Those times are the best times of marriage.

Because I see the great joy I give my husband when I can swallow my pride (which isn't as often as I'd like, mind you). I see the contentment in his life when I serve him unselfishly. I see the growth in him as I pray for him and God reveals to me a glimpse of the man He has called him to be. And I see the smile on his face as we end a rough conversation in peace and reconciliation.

It is through these rough times when God is glorified in my life that He is, in turn, glorified in my marriage, that the true joy of the union shines through.

So, yes, while we may celebrate Valentine's Day and exchange special treats on this day, it really is the other 364 days in the year that matter in building a relationship worthy to be celebrated.

PS - If you want to know what we exchanged this year: I got him a plant to keep in his office and his favorite bottle of whiskey, he got me a pair of overalls. I couldn't be happier! While it is not the traditional gift, it shows that he knows where my heart is right now ~ and that is in the garden! Many thanks, honey, many thanks.